Things seemed to be going pretty good for me. I was happier
than I had been for a while. And, I was feeling more positive about the future.
I had just published an article about bad relationships. It felt good to me to
know that I could help prevent someone else from getting their heart broken.
His voice was distinct. “What were you thinking about back
then”, he asked me. The article was about a bad experience I had with him. Since
I had forgiven him and no longer had a problem discussing my love life, I responded.
Unaware that something was wrong. This is until I notice that I had been
rehashing the same conversation with him for three days and he had been
questioning me til the wee hours of the morning.
Almost on que, he began discussing an issue I had at work
involving who he claimed was a close relative and a colleague that I had been
secretly flirting with at work. He began ranting and raving when he realized I couldn’t
answer his question concerning her employment situation. He went on to accuse
me of trying to steal her boyfriend and mistreating her at work. He also told
me that he had been practicing roots to help her get him back.
I couldn’t convince him otherwise until much later on. Then he
began claiming he never cared about her and gave her bad advice on how to get a
man is the real reason she was getting her heart broken by our colleague. He
said she had been picking fun of how big he had gotten and he had begun
bragging about how good I looked when he was with me. And he said she didn’t
like me because of it.
“He was hooked on drugs real bad and needed someone in the
family who had money and could attract attention”, he said.
After a year and a half of bickering back and forth, I became
sick and tired of it. Hopefully, he’ll get tired of bothering me, I thought.
The whole entire time having a suspicion that this was not the end of it.
He confirmed my suspicions by telling me that he was in love
with me. I remember feeling afraid. I asked him how he fell in love with me. It
had been almost two decades since we have been together. And, we weren’t on
speaking terms when I left him alone.
He told me that I had been sneaking and asking him questions
and communicating with him for a very long time and he got tired of trying to
find things out for me. Shocked, I told him that I had been trying to develop
my spiritual side and thought I had a guardian angel helping me out.
This is when he told me he was a schizophrenic who never
went to the doctor because he was in a state of denial. After I questioned him
further, he told me that he was hooked on a harsh drug and he couldn’t use that
drug and a street drug. Besides he didn’t care about himself and he was going
to die soon and he wanted to get revenge on us first.
He chose not to do anything about his problems because he
had gotten to up in age. And, because of his disease and his drugs, he couldn’t
do much better. So he chose to talk to us in this way because he couldn’t get us
to come back around him again. This is what he told me. He also told me his
family abandoned him because of how he treated them when he was sick. And, the
rest of his family had passed away.
After, I questioned behavior further, he told me that he be
trying to block something out by running his mouth the way he do. He said he
believed he may drugged someone up really badly and killed them that way or by
beating them up.
Constantly, he talk about how poor, homeless, and hungry he
is. And, he needed me to give him a place to live. He didn’t care if I liked
him or wanted him or not. The government didn’t cut him a check is what he told
me. He said he knew I had some money and needed to borrow some to pay for some
more drugs. He was hurting real bad over his personal business and we were
hurting him by not wanting him to talk.
This must be before he “flipped out” is what he call it. He
kept claiming he was turning into someone else. I just happened to notice that
it was always one of his relatives, me or one of my exes for the most part. He constantly
ruminates about these people’s personal business.
I felt frightened and alone. I believe that other people are
going through the same thing I am going through. This is what keeps me going.
Every once in a while, someone who sounded to be one of us would tell me what
he was trying to talk to me about or what he was trying to get accomplished.
But, he would convince me that it was him the whole entire time. He later told
me that he was trying to ignore them for abandoning him and he was jealous
because they said something to me, but would never say anything to them unless
they were cursing him out real bad or picking fun of him.
I was too embarrassed to talk to other people about this
problem. For a while, I wondered if it was my fault.
It became a nightmare. He began claiming to be Nostradamus
and started claiming he knew everything. He began telling me things about my
life that I never told anyone before. He also bragged about being able to make
things happen. He said he hadn’t used his brain and had gotten up in age is the
reason he was able to use him brain so well. Such as to cause something to
happen to someone.
He told me he didn’t believe in God anymore because He was
trying to make him pay the consequences for all the nasty things he has done to
people. His disease was the reason he said. So why should he have to suffer
like everybody else. He also told me that he believed that God wanted him to
apologize for how he treated me and he thought he was going to die afterwards.
That was one reason he chose to keep hurting me, maybe it’ll keep him alive, he
said.
He told me that he snuck and found out that I put his personal belongings out of my apartment because i had a premonition that he was going to kill me one day and didn't get the opportunity to finish the job. Someone who appeared to be his grand mother told him not to try to hurt me. He told her that I had almost sunk in quick sand when I was a little girl and suppose to be dead. That I got away with being alive.
He also told me that he didn't know who i am anymore and wanted to spy on me and my colleague so that he could find out how we got to become who we are. And, once he does that, he will then start coming outside. He thought he was going to snap out of his problem and curse us out if he saw us in the streets if we say anything about the way he's treating us he because he knows he's sick.
He also told me that his relatives told him how to deal with his schizophrenia. The part of his brain that controls logical thoughts has closed up because he hasn't used that spot. He also told me that he was mentally retardit on top of schizophrenic.
He told me that I know to much about who I am for him to pop out on me. He said usually when he pop out in front of people they usually get sick and go in the house and he then could rome the streets so to speak.
He told me when he popped out looking angry that he didn't get a chance to find out what happened to the relationship we had and wanted to see if we could get back together.
he told me that when he pops out looking goofy, he had been planning on getting something accomplished and had forgotten who he is or what he was getting ready to do.
I'm a psycopath is what he told me. I noticed that everyone he was pretending to be was nasty and angry and ultimately only served to make people sick. For example, if I'm trying to relax and watch a movie, he will pretend to be someone who likes to talk a whole lot. Once I'm upset to the point that i don't hardly want to be bothered, he will pretend to be someone who does a really good job of dressing up and hanging out and pick fun of my inability to get it together. When he wanted me to allow him to get away with playing mind games with me, he pretended to be his mom. If I'm in a really good mood, he begins talking about how broke and poor he is and how bad he resides and he does it for such a long time.
If im happy about a guy, he will start disclosing personal information about them such as they're in bed with a woman or that they don't reaaly like me. The idea that it could be the truth is upsetting enough. But, when i try to focus on something or someone else he justs keep going.
